"Gratitude Attitude during the Holidays."

It’s that most wonderful time of the year, when families gather together to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas.

From the crisp autumn air at night, to the smell of burning infamous Hazelnut candles in the living room amongst the Christmas tree decorations.

Your grandparents sitting around while the young ones are yelling at the TV or doing dances that are ratchet. The younger cousins hanging out in the back yard smoking an L knowing that they were supposed to be out on a walk or going to the store. Your drunken uncle telling the long tale of how he married your aunt and lost her for the 30th time and holding yet another Bud Light in his hand.

The moms and aunts arguing over who forgot to put the ham on such and such degrees and dried the ham out. Gossiping about the dish that no one knows who brought it but it smelled. The laughter from the children who are running around and knocking stuff over. To that one uncle who prays but takes the longest route to God. The younger cousins coming back with red eyes, ready to eat and your Grandma wondering who smells like a skunk walking past her.

These are memories from which we hold so dear to us. How can we create new memories and traditions, when the loved one who was there last year is no longer physically here? It hurts when you can no longer taste the cooking of that amazing Grandma who put her pinky toe in those greens in the old ass pot. The emptiness when you can no longer hear your Grandparent’s scolding for not listening when they were talking. It stings the heart when you can no longer hear that annoying laugh of that one loved one who never brings anything but laughter and jokes.

Grieving during the holidays especially now, is the hardest in years. We have a pandemic that has torn families apart and into separation. Fear of a virus that has “taken the lives of many unaccounted for.” We have allowed the government‘a abuse of control over materialism and political bipartisan to keep us separated. The only way for families to safely communicate is through technology. Sadly most elders do not know technology and they too are separated from families in nursing homes. These are the times we have strangely adapted to. We are also seeing due to the pandemic; people have lost homes and jobs. We see the spike of depression go up during the holidays due to lack of resources, family members and loved ones being deceased and changing weather.

We desire closeness with our loved ones. We long for and cherish those memories that to reflect on them or to even desire of such would seem absurd.

However!

Never deny yourself the chance to grieve. Never deny yourself of true happiness out of fear!

Never deny yourself the tears that may flow when you think of that loved one. Never feel as if you have no one.

Having an attitude of gratitude during a pandemic is not always easy. If you can, continue to try your best. And try some more. Each day it gets easier because the legacy in you still lives. Read that again.

If you have no one where you are, please reach out to someone and not allow yourself to succumb to a deeper depression. If you are lacking resources, please reach out. And even if it is for a laugh for two, share that with someone who can lift you up and remind you that sometimes it is okay not to be okay. If you are feeling so low to the point of contemplating harm to yourself or others, please seek medical assistance.

We are human after all. If we all were bionic, then we would be impenetrable. Things affect each person differently however we all feel. We all love. Honor your loved ones in your own unique way.Celebrate those memories and cherish the loved ones you have around. And if you are not close with your family then cherish the soul tribe that you are connected to.

Create new traditions. Create memories worth a lifetime of sharing to future generations.

May peace,joy, good health, safety and love be gifted to you and your family during this holiday season.

~Violet Flower~